Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Mumma Milestone Meltdown

Today, well actually yesterday, I'm not really sure what you would count it as. I was up last night with Nathaniel at every hour until 5am. See, this doesn't bother me too much as he only wanted me to come back in to his bedroom whilst he fell back asleep which didn't take longer than a few minutes each time. But safe to say, he is definitely getting me used to sleepless nights....(not that Nathaniel ever slept well as a baby).

This morning, I heard the tippy toes of feet rustle up to my face with a great smile. Ben had already left for work at about 6 in the morning. Usually, I rather be awake before Nathaniel is, but in the last weeks of pregnancy, tiredness is definitely caught up with me.

I had it in my mind this morning that I had to get a lot of things done. I'm still to pack a hospital bag, prepare a cot, wash all the baby clothing, our clothing, tidy the house, play with Nathaniel, do our family budget, find some documents and I could go on and on about the 100 other things I wanted to get done.

We started our morning like normal of a bit of one to one play and then breakfast whilst Mumma washes up and gets a bit of tidying done. Nathaniel comes in to finds me and looks up at me whilst pulling my shirt and trying to drag my hand to show me he wanted something. This is very normal behaviour of this, but for some reason my brain clicked and I felt like a terrible Mum as why won't my newly 2 year old son say 'Mumma'.

After that clicked in my mind, I found it hard to shove away and felt like everything I have done with him through his life hasn't been good enough. I get asked often 'can Nathaniel speak yet?', 'a few words but he's getting there'. Then it comes with a look of clearly I am doing something wrong.

My biggest peeve of parenting so far is milestones and the look of others when they haven't met every single milestone they are meant to have at such and such age. That these apparent milestones are drilled in to parents and if these milestones aren't hit, you're doing something wrong or you do not have a smart child.

They say children should be saying a number of words and sentences by the age of 2. Nathaniel can say a few words and plenty of sounds. He remembers and understands parts of stories, songs and rhymes. Nathaniel communicates with us all the time, the words just haven't started to come out but the sounds are there. Why should I feel like a let down parent? I often get asked if we go to nursery, and no at the moment we don't.

I'm doing everything I can to encourage him to hit these milestones, for example, his problem solving skills are really good from the amount of shapes and puzzles we've played with.

I just want to be able to enjoy him as he is today. Not make him and myself anxious because he hasn't said all the words he's meant to have. I know he will say them, and I am sure I'm not the only parent who has been made to feel like this at some point through their child's life. I just want him to grow at his own rate and not be in this imaginary race against children his age.

Every child is different and has a different life.

Let me know in the comments below on your thoughts.

Love S x


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